Friday, February 8, 2013

14 Days of Genitals, Day 2: Prehensile Penises


 #2: Prehensile Penises
And to follow up a post on dicks that look like hands, here are some other ding-a-lings that could be confused for palms!
No, how do you do?
Turns out that dolphins and whales have extremely large, prehensile peckers that can explore all sorts of fun nooks and crannies, including hands! Flipper's little Philip is quite lonely and aggressive, too. One study on dolphin and swimmer interactions recorded 13 out of 29 dolphins had periods of misdirected sexual behavior towards buoys, vessels and humans. So next time you wanna go swimming with dolphins make sure you don't wave 'hello' too vigorously...

African elephants, not surprisingly, also have absolutely gigantic male appendages! Not only are they impressive in size, but also function. These prehensile peepees literally sub in as a third leg. Let's take a moment to check out the life of a male elephant:

Belly itch but no fingers? Not a problem, I've got a built-in belly scratcher!
Tired of standing on my own feet? Just use my giant slong to take a quick breather! 
Bugs buzzing all up in my bizniss? Swat 'em with that evolutionary fly catcher! 
Hot momma over by the watering hole? Wave hello AND impress at the same time!

Other Penis Purposes: picking up contact lenses they dropped, dowsing for water, and threatening small snakes.

Update from the year 2024: we learned about MORE prehensile penises that you should read about on the blog! This does, remarkably, remain our most popular blog post of all time. 

Works Cited
"Chapter 15 Marine Mammals: Fisheries, Tourism and Management Issues". Cetaceans that are typically lonely and seek human company. 2003. pp. 266–268. Retrieved December 17, 2006. 
http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/11/07/south-african-wildlife-wait-thats-not-a-trunk/ 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

14 Days of Genitals: Day 1, Rushmore's Rod

Valentines Day: the day of love or loneliness, depending on your perspective, but regardless of your relationship status February is a time to reflect on relationships, love, and sex. To celebrate the Vengeance Team is bringing you 14 Days of Genitals, tales of bizarre wiener wonders and stunning stories of the snatch, with one posted each day.

Why? Because for many of us, puberty was a horrifying hormonal roller coaster filled with unexpected body fluids and bizarre downstairs changes that our middle school teachers hadn't prepared us for. Of course, some of you probably grew up in less conservative towns than Meaghan ("Look at this overhead pen, ladies, this is what a tampon looks like" - NO), but irregardless adolescence in general leaves most humans with the general impression that genitals might be pretty useful, but they're definitely damned weird.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have no idea.

Humans are LUCKY, by animal kingdom standards. Do your testicles turn inside out during sex? When you get horny, does your entire ass swell to a glowing red cushion 3x its regular size? No? Well suck it up then, because these shitshows of biology are common for many other members of the animal kingdom.  Fair warning: these posts are graphic, gross, and totally awesome. If you have any sort of heart condition don't click on any of the links - they'll probably take you to the scientific equivalent of soft core porn.

Day # 1: Rushmore's Rod
We're gonna just launch straight into this thing. 
Clear the room, then click play and be thankful your downstairs are shaped the way the are, 
rather than... whatever this is. Also, be thankful this isn't your job.


It's really hard to decide if the silence is better, or even creepier. Regardless, it's clear that the truly disturbing thing here is the four-eyed demon hand that is the Echidna Penis. But for all the lady echidnas out there fleeing for their lives - during sex two of the heads just sort of shut down leaving only half the heads still functional. Because the only thing better than a four-headed johnson is when two of the heads aren't even bothering to pay attention, right??




Works Cited
Johnston, Steve D. and Smith, Brett and Pyne, Michael and Stenzel, Deborah J. and Holt, William V. (2007) One-Sided Ejaculation of Echidna Sperm Bundles.The American Naturalist 170(6):E162-E164.

Roig-Alsina, Arturo. (1993) The evolution of the apoid endophallus, its phylogenetic implications, and functional significance of the genital capsule (Hymenoptera, Apoidea). Bolletino di zoologia. Vol 60 (2).

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Adventurous Woman Wanted

Last week the Vengeance Team discussed how difficult it is for science-lovin' ladies to get jobs in universities. Fortunately, right after posting that article, Amy discovered a gem in the trash heap that is her Facebook newsfeed, an article that restored her dreams of employment. Science be praised, professors of genetic research at Harvard University are seeking an adventurous woman for a job! YES! SCORE! WOMAN WANTED!!!


...To give birth to a neanderthal clone

 

The Vengeance Team had slightly different reactions to the news.


For Amy, this moment was like destiny knocking. And like a good girl, she opened that door (she thought it was a set of Mormon Missionaries, a topic we will save for a later post). It's as if the stars aligned for Amy to be young and fertile at THIS EXACT POINT in geologic time, right when the wonders of science can bone her (and by this we of course mean impregnate her with DNA cultivated from remaining genetic material in, of course, a bone). Luckily a job at the student athlete center and a strong love of costume parties has prepared Amy well for dealing with cavemen.



This moment in time also aligns well with job and grant application season, so Meaghan and Amy figured they could use this opportunity to give readers some pointers for job applications. Harvard, prepare yourself. Click to read our cover letter in all its glory!

Job Application Tip # 1 - Basically everything we just did there... don't do that.


Sidenote: while Meaghan fully supports Amy in all her breeding adventures, Meaghan's own womb is being saved in reserve for alien babies only, because she's worried about the hygiene requirements of all that excess body hair. 

Another Sidenote: in lieu of NSF funding, Meaghan is currently in the market to sell really unflattering cartoon sketches of people to pay for her research expenses. So if you really want a sketch of a stick figure with a witch nose or gigantic cankles, drop her a line!

Monday, January 21, 2013

Famous Amos and Marvelous Melvin



Currently the Geology department at our school is hiring for a new full time faculty position. This is an exciting opportunity for the department to expand the university's breadth of research. It is also an important chance to discuss the presence of women in science, technology, engineering and math (STEM) fields. Currently, the department has 24 faculty listed, not all of whom are full-time or tenure-track, and 5 of them are female. The graduate student proportions are much different, about 50:50.

An article published in 2007 noted that while about half of PhD earners in STEM fields were women, they only held up to (aka, many schools had less than) 30% of faculty positions. This percentage dropped even further in universities with increased prestige, higher student entrance criteria, larger student body, absence of a women's studies programs, increased research productivity and increased federal funding. Essentially, the more prestigious the school, the fewer lady faculty members they'll have.

The problem is no longer an absence of well-qualified women from accredited universities - 45.9% of STEM PhD holders in ages 25-39 are women, though that percentage does vary by field. However, women are less likely to advance than men and also more likely to leave a position than their male cohorts. At current rates of hiring and exiting, the faculty diversity caps out at about 40%, even as the PhD rates continue to equalize. This is called demographic inertia: though the amount of qualified women is increasing, the amount of women actually hired and retained isn't.

There are countless explanations for this phenomenon, some of them asinine, some of them bitter, and some of them unexpectedly and really disturbingly true. Recently our adviser showed us a paper on how selection bias affects hiring practices. A nationwide sample of biology, chemistry, and physics professors evaluated the application materials of an undergraduate science student who had applied for a science laboratory manager position. All participants received the same materials. The only thing that changed was the gender, with some applications displaying traditionally female names and others male. Participants rated the student’s competence and hireability, as well as the salary and amount of mentoring they would offer the student.



Ladies: too great for mentoring.
 When faced with a female student, faculty rated the application as less competent, less hireable, and less desirable than the same application with a male name. This preference was independent of the faculty member's own sex, too - female professors gave the male students just as much increased preference as the male professors did. The mean starting salary offered to the female student was 26,507.94$. The mean starting salary offered to a male applicant with the exact same qualifications was 30,238.10$. That's a difference of 3730.16$ for being named Bob instead of Betty, because somehow possessing a penis makes you more equipped to clean beakers.



So what does this mean?  If the only difference on the resumes were female vs. male names, can this whole dilemma be solved with androgynous name choices for future generations? Sorry future little Scarlett Rebecca Atwater, looks like it's gonna be Casey, Pat, Jordan, or  Morgan for you! But before we all go changing our names to J.K., there are other choices - and a good thing too, because being named Melvin would cause Meaghan to projectile vomit, and Amy is actually having a near meltdown at the thought of having to respond to her childhood nightmare nickname Amos. For one, shouting this bias from the rooftops might help: there is evidence that diversity education can reduce both explicit and implicit or subconscious bias.

There are a few ways of altering hiring practices that will help skew the ratio, but even then this is a process that takes time. For most schools, if they begin specifically hiring equal numbers of women it will still take almost 60 years for their faculty to reach equalized levels. Women leave faculty positions more readily and for a wide variety of reasons including unequal burdens of family responsibilities and discrimination in promotion considerations. Stop this hemorrhage, and faculty positions should reach equal levels in about 40 years. Combine both of those tactics, and it only takes 30 years!

That's still a long time, and unless you're a faculty member you might not hold any sway over the processes that will result in change. There are other things you can do. If you're a woman in science, consider mentoring. If you're a man in science, you should consider being more like this guy, and participate in groups like The Good Men Project. If you've got a daughter, send them to women-friendly science camps. Giving women extra support can go a long way to making them more resilient to the factors that bar success.
Science! Ladies can do it too. And definitely better than Barbie who thinks carrying plastic dinos around is science.
And remember that talking about it is one of the ways to fix it. Many of our readers are fellow science students that Meaghan and Amy have hassled into reading their blog. Bring this up in lab meetings, bring it up when you're discussing summer jobs. And if you ever get a chance to participate in a hiring process (geology graduate students, we're looking at you!), keep in mind the subconscious bias that might prevent you from suggesting a woman candidate that's equally as qualified as her male counterparts.



WORKS CITED
Cameron, E. , Gray, M. , & White, A. (2013). Is publication rate an equal opportunity metric?. Trends in Ecology & Evolution, 28(1), 7-8.

Marschke, R. , Laursen, S. , Nielsen, J. , & Rankin, P. (2007). Demographic inertia revisited: An immodest proposal to achieve equitable gender representation among faculty in higher education. Journal of Higher Education, 78(1), 1-26.

Moss-Racusin, C. , Dovidio, J. , Brescoll, V. , Graham, M. , & Handelsman, J. (2012). Science faculty's subtle gender biases favor male students. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 109(41), 16474-16479.

Rudman, L.A., Ashmore, R., Gary, M. (2001). "Unlearning" automatic biases: The malleability of implicit prejudice and stereotypes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Vol 81(5).

Thanks to Dr. Hopkins and Dr. Davis for suggesting some of these articles, and for bringing up the topic in our lab meetings and making us think about it as well.


 

Thursday, January 10, 2013

PaleoArt: Multituberculate Jokes

Multituberculate

This is a multituberculate. They were a big branch early on the mammalian tree, they had some really wonky teeth, and now they're all dead - which is a sob story shared by most of life on earth. They were named after the many bumps (tubercules) on their teeth, and there is (currently!) no evidence that multituberculates were obsessed with rutabagas, parsnips, carrots, yams, or potatoes.

The following are not real animals. They are good* puns.

Manytuberculate

Monotuberculate

Zerotuberculate

*actually, let's be real - they're pretty great puns.


All drawings made with mechanical pencils and outlined uni super ink pens. First drawing colored in with Artist Loft's watercolor pencils.