14 Days of Genitals, Day 14: Otter-be Ashamed of Yourself

Sea Otters are perhaps the cutest animals on the planet. We watch a LOT of YouTube videos about baby animals, and also are pretty well-versed in the depths of cutestpaws.com, so we feel like we can make blanket statements about cuteness like that. They are super fuzzy, they hold hands while they float around, they smash their food on their belly, they melt your heart every time you see them at the aquarium: cuteness win.

They also rape and drown baby seals and female otters.

Sea Otters: Suddenly Less Cute.

14 Days of Genitals, Day 13: The Poorly Named Newt

This is a rough skinned newt:

14 Days of Genitals, Day 12: Arms Race Between the Sexes

Survival of the fittest doesn't always mean survival of the nicest. Sometimes assholes are the best at reproducing, and water striders are really, really good at reproducing. 

Not the biggest asshole in the animal kingdom (wait 'til day 14), but close.

14 Days of Genitals, Day 11: Hippo Pu Pu Platter

The hippopotamus is a misunderstood creature. Marketed as cute and cuddly (we mean, have you seen those cheeks?!) the hippo is actually one of the most dangerous animals in the world and also one of the worst to potty-train.

Hmm more floaters than sinkers this time!

14 Days of Genitals, Day 10: Gettin' Freaky with Porcupines

Don't worry - the quills are actually soft during birth, that's not where we're going with this, calm down.

It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that porcupine mating can be tricky. What might surprise you, however, is what masturbating, piss-loving kinksters porcupines are.